Yesterday I undid the temporary dreadz that I have been sporting for 6-7 months now.

I put them on coz I felt my hair was thinning (coz of stress), and a bit of a break from tonging, blowdrying, flat ironing, and of course combing.

Two things happened as I was carefully undoing them (I ignored my loctitian’s offer to magically undo them without much combing. My scalp is just too sensitive for that stuff!)

First is that what looked like tons and tons of hair fell off. Not to worry too much about that, seeing as I hadn’t combed it in 6-7 months, just clearing off the backlog 😉

Second thing it that after the process was done I could hold all my hair with a small scrunchy and take it round 3 times!!! That never used to happen! Small scrunchies could only go round once – on a tame hair day, and could never hack on a frizzy day! I miss the frizzy days!

I got tempted, for a moment there, to cover up my hair with scarves and hats for as long as it took for me to feel it has grown sufficiently thick again. Or trim off the thinned parts and remain with unrelaxed growth only.

I feel lost, like I have lost something…

I think my hair could be my identity!

My locks, my jihad

Back to the hair – thinning stress mentioned above. I have noticed I always lock my hair whenever am going through a trying period, or a defining moment, and unlock it when I feel I am past it.

I was watching a video blog by a lady who said “My hijab is my jihad” (my Islamic veil is my struggle). She went through phases of wearing and rebelling against it depending on what she was going through.

I think my hair, and more specifically my dreadlocks are my jihad.

I’ve always known, for instance, that if I suffered a devastating loss I would shave off my hair.